So, here we are, just a couple of days away from the last day of school. NYC is set to start Phase 2 of “re-opening” on Monday. My child has been home for 96 days. Except for three days, last week, when he went to my parents house. It was the first time he spent any time outside the home besides going to the park for a picnic once and the grocery store a handful of times.
This is torture. I’m a full-time working Mom. I am not a teacher, even though I briefly entertained the idea of becoming one in high school. I am also not a full-time, hands on Mom. Trust me, I know how that sounds but hear me out before you judge. I trust after school programs for snacks and homework help. Summer camp for swimming lessons and crafts. Grandparents for spoiling and cuddles. Martial arts classes and Cub Scouts for socialization and life skills. This is not my wheelhouse!
Don’t get me wrong, I love being a Mom. And my hat goes off to all the STAHM that play every role, all day, everyday. You are the real MVPs.
But damn, this is hard. There is so much family time! So much school work! So much “Mom”, “Mom, guess what?”, answering his own question: “chicken butt”, I taught him that, it’s my fault.
I’m not complaining. Yes, yes I am. I miss our routine, some of it, definitely not all of it. I miss drop off in the mornings. I miss chatting with my Mom friends about nothing at all, but so much. I miss going back to bed after drop-off on my day off and sleeping in. I miss the hour to myself (sometimes 2!) everyday before after school got out.
I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to “normal” at this point, it feels so long ago that we went to the playground after school on Friday’s when his regular after school program didn’t run. It seems like forever ago that we went out for pizza before Cub Scouts or had a play date.
I also can’t help but think that maybe our old idea of normal wasn’t working so well for us. We worked all the time (we are both essential workers and haven’t stopped working during COVID, but we have cut back our hours considerably) we were always going somewhere to do something, that usually sucked and never quite lived up to the idea of it. I’m cooking more than ever, we finally have a fridge that stays pretty stocked and our apartment stays pretty clean. I’m writing almost everyday. I finally have a little bit of a hobby that keeps me occupied and my mind off the world that is seemingly crumbling around us (a little dramatic but that’s how it feels sometimes!)
Maybe this “new normal” that our Governor keeps talking about will be better and make us all better. I love the new social distancing guidelines, honestly. Keep away! I prefer ordering my groceries online, which I started doing almost exclusively pre-pandemic.
The lack of social interaction is getting tough for all of us, though. I miss people and can’t wait for a girl’s night on the town, late night pancakes with my “work wife” after a night shift, coffee with a friend and play dates for the kids. One day, we’ll get there. In the meantime, wear a mask and wash your hands!